My Pledge

Solve problems mutually and privately

When you address an issue together, there’s a connection made or strengthened: recall times when you completed a long walk together, an arduous task or project; supported each other abseiling perhaps! Links are formed and deepened which strengthen your relationship.

Approaching an issue united allows you to tackle it together. It also means you have a far greater chance of getting onto the same page in terms of outcomes. Those around you then become resources for support rather than places where you can “discharge” your pain.

Preserve key relationships

Remember that argument you had with a loved one? It got to the point where you were ready to give up: the feeling may have been overwhelming hopelessness, perhaps sadness and a great deal of pain and hurt. It was time to walk away….and then something changed. Perhaps you or they said something gentle; touched you caressingly…and you were deeply impacted; took a breath and then somehow you were both able to talk it through and come to a place where you each felt heard, respected and indeed, honoured. What you were arguing about seemed either resolved or at least less important.

Your relationship was strengthened through this rite of passage wasn’t it? This is using conflict for growth and maturing.

Prevent draining, costly court battles

All courts are adversarial, meaning in theory that if two sides each argue for their own cause, the truth will somehow magically appear. Sadly, it’s a myth and instead of getting justice, most litigants instead get law. And in the process, the parties polarise because the system pays you to differentiate yourself from that “evil” other side. They’re of course doing the same to you at the same time! As a result, small differences are exacerbated and blown up and in the process, you become embroiled in a costly, arduous and emotionally draining battle you never really wanted in the first place.

A holistic approach

When emotions are welcome, the needs underpinning them have a chance to be expressed, heard and understood. So rather than adjourning a court hearing whilst a party is “recovering” their equilibrium, when feelings show up in a collaboration, the safe space enables the underlying needs to be explored and addressed directly.  As a process, it honours grace and responsibility; and result becomes way more resilient and sustainable.

Need help resolving a legal issue ?

If you are needing assistance or legal advisory to manage a problem you are currently having then please get in touch with me today.

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